(As) - sa(u)lted

(As) - sa(u)lted - My God, we were laughing so hard a few days ago because after another one of many frequent pull- ins at a local Chinese buffet, we could literally watch how our fingers were swelling up by the hour. By the next morning we both had puffed up like two blow fish with neither one capable of taking our wedding bands off. If only the whole matter wasn't so serious, I bet, we'd still be cracking up about our rapid Shrek- like transformation. Never mind, we consequently put ourselves on a strictly sodium restricted diet but had obviously clearly underestimated the amount of effort necessary to fight that battle on a manageable level. I'm primarily talking about eating and snacking out several times a week. Anyway, we returned to our favorite food place the very next day where we - still being hyper filled with all that sodium - showed the woman running the Hibachi station how tight our rings were fitting. "Please, no more of that yellow bottle!", I exclaimed almost imploringly. In broken English she pointed at the two raw eggs on my plate which quite naturally needed at least some of that salty liquid butter to be cooked. What usually ends up being slathered in a puddle of salty grease on her grill, I could finally successfully reduce to just two comparatively insignificant 2- inch patties. And you know what? Not only did this balooned- out sensation vanish rather quickly, but that day the food tasted much richer and above all much more diverse since obviously freed from all that suffocating blanket of salt. - Looking at the history of salt and the reasons and motives of why it was eventually used on a mass scale, I don't doubt for a minute even how important and useful salt had become for the main purpose of preservation and thus considerable prolongation of shelf- life with regard to a great deal of products. However, this belongs to the past and is hence passé. Considering today's technologically advanced means and ways  of preservation, I'd like to raise the question of how much salt is in fact needed still. Being known for my clearly indisputable passion for poultry, I alone devour two chickens a week on average. I honestly had no clue, though how much this quest of finding chickens that are not loaded with salt - revealed by multiple injection punctures - would actually turn into a full- blown obstacle course nightmare.
Let me tell you, unreal! In my absolute despair, I've been trying to cook more at home whenever we are not on the road one way or another, but even in my own corner I somewhat find myself on the losing end. Not enough that most meat products here are heavily added with growth hormones, quite apparently hardly anything comes salt- free. Lately I've been steering ever the more towards the vegetarian cuisine mainly instigated by respective literature popping up all over the Internet. Sometimes I so wish I could warm up to the concept of a meatless diet, but in fact I do have a serious appetite for animal proteins. As a matter of fact, this group of foods actually by far contains the most sodium of all. I can't seem to win here, I'm afraid. If my inclination or rather preference of foods doesn't change, I may indeed get stuck in this constant uphill battle with sodium. Just imagine, even fish is salt- treated before flash- frozen! What else is there to say? Back to our favorite Chinese place, just when I thought I had explored every single avenue, I was to experience another utter surprise. One day I picked fruit instead of more salty meat, fish and poultry. After all, what could go wrong with a couple of fresh apple slices, right? Wrong, as those are soaked in - yes, you got that right, in salt water! Holy cow! - Next week, let me talk about the silent but devastating traces salt leaves on or rather in our bodies, specifically over a long time. In the meantime, please do not pass the salt!