The Seeming And The Real (I)

The Seeming And The Real (I) - Don't judge a book by its cover, says a popular English proverb. All well and good, but on second thought, what else is there as a primary reference point as far as passing a verdict, forming an opinion or conclusion, assessing, evaluating, etc. someone on a first- time- meet basis? First impressions are said to matter most, in fact, far more than any consecutive ones. How does this make sense, though? Doesn't the cover of any book ultimately determine its pull as to being grabbed and read by its readers? Admittedly, concerning books we are merely talking about unanimated objects which are altogether comparatively easily dismissible and dispensable or rather interchangeable with just no skin off our nose - unless, of course, you are like- minded and sense energy in books, as well. Never mind, with human beings it is all entirely different, what else? After all, just for a brief moment take into consideration the Karmic component as being particularly vital to our all spiritual growth. Oh well, as if first encounters weren't quite something yet for lots of folks like the most introvert, bashful or just overly cautious as well as leery individuals, quite a few among us usually put their best foot forward only to lastly fail miserably on their second, third, etc. run. You, too, may already have experienced walking up to someone and shaking their hand on first contact or perhaps even uttering a banal, "Hi, nice to meet you", waiting for the kind of normal reaction that you're used to. Instead, that stranger suddenly burst into giggles or even laughter which instantly made you cringe, thinking what the heck could have led to that inarguably odd behavior. Pretty awkward, right? Quite likely, we shall express little to no keenness in wanting to explore that someone more thoroughly - right or wrong? Actually, just the exact opposite we would be advised to do in such an oddly peculiar case because not only do we have the faintest clue about our opposite, but we also don't know if their spontaneous chuckling or bellowing laughter is basically only a nervous reaction to being approached for the first time. Personally, I have met lots of folks that just don't feel confident enough to let their hair down right off the bat. With others, sadly myself included, I have noticed that arrogance seems to be predominantly setting the tone for their first impression- making steps. From the perspective that it takes someone to know someone, I can assure you that in about seven out of ten times, the apparent arrogance displayed initially is actually nothing but a cheap backdrop or (in a psychological jargon) a handy copying mechanism in order to conceal inferior and low feelings about oneself. However, once we utilize the chance of getting to know them better, those people's egos usually deflate rather quickly. Although I can absolutely not stand anyone who shows aggression and/ or intimidation without the slightest shame in the world, I would be lying if I said I was blaming them. I am highly aggressive myself, and being confronted with a similar conduct simply irks me beyond anything, even though, I am quite aware of actually being mirrored the same facet others grossly dislike about me. Anyway, anger, too, is all but a helpful tool in masking emotions of extreme lack of self- confidence and self- love. Those who portray themselves as overall stand- offish and rude often do not mean to be perceived as such but don't seem to know any better or just can't get out of their skin when it comes to applying the right communication skills for the sake of an ideal conversation starter. Others, quite evidently, don't bring the willingness to engage themselves adequately enough for the purpose of a promising and aspiring continuation of the brand- new acquainting process. Little surprisingly, even that frequently proves to be all wrong as we delve deeper and immerse more actively with our counterparts at hand. Well, from this point of view, it looks like we would indeed do well to essentially disregard judging a book by its cover and herewith just ignore the fact that the first- impression- matters theory is left completely unsupported by that. - To be continued.